Dear Mom

Hi. I don't have a "honey", so my thread is dear Mom:

I'm scared. Today, tomorrow, last night, you name it, the fear is always there. With your help and your attitude, battling the fear is easier, so keep up the good work.

I need you. Seems so strange to say that -- you know I've always been the independent type, but I can't handle this by myself.

Know that I love you, and appreciate your help and support, especially when I forget to say it.

How you can help me:

1. Just be there. I need your presence and your hand in mine as I go through this. Give me a hug when I'm feeling blue, or even if I'm not. Tell me you love me and support me even though I'm cranky, scared, or in pain.
   
2. Recognize that although the chances of anything happening during or after surgery are small, they weigh heavily on my mind. Don't always say "everything's going to be ok". Ask me if I want to talk about my fears.
   
3. Don't expect me to be strong -- physically or emotionally -- before or after surgery. I need your help in promoting a safe recovery by helping me out and making sure I don't try to do too much.
   
4. Let me be selfish. This time is about me, my body, my surgery, my recovery. Some times I don't have the emotional energy to spare right now to keep up my end of our relationship, so know that I love you, and I'm struggling to get better so that I can help to meet your needs as you are helping me to meet mine.
   
5. Give me time. The road to a healthy recovery may be a long one, so please let me borrow your time and strength until I can stand on my own again.
   
6. Make me a huge pot of your spaghetti, buy me a book, pick up the remote I just dropped, nag me to take care of myself, bring me flowers, and entertain me.