To my Cowboy

I will never forget the day we met in that hot warehouse on my first day on the job. Iwould never imagine I woulld be spending the rest of my life with you. I wanted to provide you all the love and compassion and repect that you lacked as I had so much to give. You are the most warm and gentle man I have ever met and feel safe when I am with you. I didn't think that I would be needing you more than ever during this time of my having surgery. You didn't "sign up" for this and I wish you didn't have to see me this way. I know you must have had a hard time accepting this-being there in the hospital with me and having to leave to tend to the animals.....and then coming back to what I can say was a nightmare. I apologize with all my heart for not having the ability to bear your child...we thought we had it at one point, but now we know that the beast inside me was the cause of us loosing that hope. You deserve to be a father. I want to make that happen for you. I am praying that we will be granteed our wish for a child through adoption. If there was a contest for the WORLD'S GREATEST HUSBAND, you wouldn't even have to apply-they would be calling you! I love you and I want to thank you for being there-right by my side, through all the good times and bad-which thankfully the good times outweigh the bad, but as for now, you have been the rock. The main positive thing that keeps me going. You take the pain away. You make the tears stop. You make me smile. And by your understanding of my pain, my snail paced movements, and my crying out of the blue, you have been a real trooper. You my google, are my lifeline. And I thank you.