I wish I could believe you will support me.

Honey...I love you very much, but I know you are not capable of the kind of emotional and physical support that I will need in this upcoming time in my life.
I don't know what happens to you, whether you are too self involved, or perhaps, are not capable of giving yourself over to a kind of love that breaks your heart...but you are never there for me when I really need you. Not through the cancer and I am sure it will be the same now.
I am scared too death of losing myself physically and mentally through this upcoming procedure and now I am also terrified of the feeling of loss I will have over your uncaring and I will do something for you reluctantly and only because you are nagging me kind of ways.
Going to try my best to manifest the kind of tenderness I am gonna need....but at this moment, all i have are tears.