My dear...I need you

My dear,

I know you have a kind heart and that you love me, but I have to ask - where are you? No matter what and when you ask, I'm there for you, yet here I am a few days after this hysterectomy and I'm having to go through recovery alone. My mom and aunt helped out a lot for the few days they could be here, but now I'm having to try to take care of me and the kids alone. Please know that I don't ask out of anger but out of hurt, sadness, and confusion.

I already don't ask much of you, and now I sit here heavy hearted and face drenched with tears trying to figure out how to go through these next several weeks. You're supposed to be my best friend, my confidante, my forever, yet you feel like someone I just met. I want to be able to cry on your shoulder. I want you to hold my hand and say we're going to get through this. I want to hear you say - I love you. I want you to just hold me. I would like you to make sure the kids are taken care of while I rest.

On a regular day, I am a strong woman; however, during this time I need you to be strong for me. I can't do everything as usual. While I know you won't read this, I just had to write it out.

Hoping and praying things change for the better.......