You Are Not Strong Enough!

It took me 40 years to realize you are not the kind of strength and support I need. You have disappointed me and devastated our marriage with merely being "who you are". You abide the laws of society, but violated the sanctity of our marriage by registering on a dating site while I have stood by you in good and bad times.

You came from two despicable excuses for human beings, a mother and father terribly flawed, but you never speak ill of them to me, knowing they gave you nothing, but me, the woman who gave you two sons and devoted my life to my family gets reminded of every bad thought you may have of me.

You have done nothing but lie to me since I met you at 15....but I was too trusting to see it...after 40 years, I would welcome a divorce. After all these years, I now see the similarities you share genetically with two sociopath parents. The lieing being key. You gave me nothing in the end, nothing of real value. I now am a middle aged woman with no daughters to turn to, no other woman who could help me in a time of needing someone to just listen and help with finding a doctor. The way a daughter might do for a mother. While having sons was wonderful, they are now grown and do not understand how to help me, they are men after all, but not like you. They were raised with morals, but still lack the sensitivity to help me.

You suspected me of talking to men on the internet, because of your distrust of women, brought on by your illicit mother most likely, but in the end, it was you who got caught. You caused so much distrust in me that I no longer have my sisters relationship. The mistrust caused me to not pursue friendships because of fear that you would suspect me of wrongdoing, I lost relationships because of who you turned out to be.

Now that I am almost disabled from this horrible hyst gone wrong, you are no where that I need you to be. You are just too mentally weak and demented for me to even care about you. Nothing you say or do gets validated any longer, I use you from here on, like you used me. I won't stop until my life is better.