Love of my life...occasional thorn in my side ❤️

I love you ..appreciate you..need you, but you don't get it..I love our family , love our life!! But I am screaming on the inside..how can you love me after you have rubbed powder in my creases, swabbed my wounds?? Saw what was once a whole piece of anatomy, drooped and a mess. I know "things are back in place" but I'm scared...2 weeks after surgery and I still walk like a 90 yr old. My uterus is gone!! The first home my babies resided in is gone!! I feel lost!!! I cannot help that I want to be superwoman...the one who nursed a baby while changing another..the one who was together even after two toddlers and a newborn tried so hard to drive her crazy. The one who cared for her daddy while he lay dying and still cared for her family..you remember her??? I miss her...the one who went back to school at night and still made it to mommy and me..the one who followed her dream and became the nurse she was destined to be...well now she is broken and weak and I cannot handle it..what if I can't be her anymore...the fight has been drained, will I ever be "alright" again??? Be patient with me...you have been wonderful..but you just don't get it. 😪